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Title : Funny, she doesn't look Asian...
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Funny, she doesn't look Asian...

If you're the type of person who is annoyed by spelling and grammatical errors, reading online dating profiles is about as pleasant as massaging your scrotum with a red-hot cheese grater. Perhaps the most egregious offenders are those women who don't know the difference between the words angel and angle. As you can see by the fine upstanding young ladies we've featured below, online dating is full of morons who refer to themselves as "Angle Eyes", which, coincidentally, is the same term of endearment I use for the waiter at Panda Garden Chinese Buffet.

User: angleyes69
Site: Plentyoffish
Location: Fair Grove, MO
Headline: "sorry you are to late"

In her own words:

I am looking for a friend to just talk to or hang out with. I like the company of others.I do have someone who i love but is gone alot so i am just looking for someone to talk with when i need a friend. 

(view her profile here) 

Interestingly, it seems most of the dumb skanks who use "Angle Eyes" from their username also tend to attach the number 69 to the end of it, thus proving that these gals are as classy as shag carpeting, wood paneling, cross-eyed amputee strippers, a romantic anniversary dinner at Denny's, or a high-mileage 1988 Chevy Cavalier covered in pigeonshit. If you don't believe us, just check out our next hopeless honey, a 36-year-old bisexual mental midget from North Carolina. You can tell she's a woman of class because she only types in capital letters.

User: ANGLE EYES69
Site: Plentyoffish
Location: NC
Headline: THICK & CURVY

In her own words:

IM AM DOWN TO EARTH LOVE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. GET ALONG GREAT WITH ANY ONE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH A WOMAN SEXUALLY BUT I WANT TO JUST HAVNT FOUND THE ONE YET.

(view her profile here)

Next, we have angleeyes0991, a 24-year-old from Oklahoma who writes: a lil about me i am a very open person at first i am very shy until later

Wait... what? Read that self-description again carefully, and if you don't immediately feel the urge to bludgeon yourself over the head with a blunt instrument in order to shock your saddened brain into coherence, then you must have a far greater tolerance for jaw-dropping stupidity than we do.

User: angleeyes0991
Site: OkCupid
Location: Lawton, OK

(View her profile here)

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